Once again we return to the land of swords and sorcery and maidens with filmy dresses clinging to their every unusually toned curve. I'm not talking creepy, awkward RenFaire maidens either. You know the ones - can't stop talking about Inuyasha or which fictional male characters they'd like to screw one another. I'm talking real, hardcore maidens. From beyond time. Ensconced in minarets and sipping mead and getting sold to neighbouring vassals and their fiefdoms and all that. Maidens whose maidenhoods are prized things, not punishments to be inflicted upon others.
While there are no maidens in McFarlane's second line of Dragons figures, we do get a good helping of the titular creatures, still questin' for that lost king. Will they every find him? Has he been abducted to the Undersea Kingdom of the Cephalopods? Might he have wandered into the unforgiving Molasses Swamp? Is he on the can? We'll never know. Regardless, the Dragons are still looking, and fortunately, they're looking in six awesome action poses. These six dragons represent the six Dragon clans that were created in the first series, slowly amassing their genetic ranks on our shelves until an all-out six-way Ragnarok cometh. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Let's start with the Komodo Clan Dragon, given no other name than 'Komodo Clan Dragon 2'. He matches the first Komodo Clan dragon in sculpt, having a short head, long horns thrust backwards and black patterns on the back of wings. This guy, however, is a dark blood color, instead of a blue hue. I think that this keeps the variety within the Clan deep enough to keep the figures interesting while still keeping them similar enough to have a convincing pseudo-genetic link. This principle doesn't work with things such as, say, a green and pink School Dance Disaster Spider-Man with Scrunchy Flinging Action, but for Dragons, it's kosher. So, if you were wondering what links these Clans, it's the sculpt, not the color, and I can buy that.
If you learn one thing on a five-hour road trip to far-off western New York with an immense iguana between you and the driver, it's what lizards look like. You also learn that when the iPod stops working, you really DO like Abba's 'Dancing Queen' on fuzzy FM radio after all. Because of the iguana thing, I can truly appreciate the exceptionally sculpted scales and patterns of the Dragons. Scales aren't uniform things. They form odd shapes and more or less symmetrical patterns to cover what needs to be covered, and that's all impressively realized and sculpted in here. Scales on top of scales, folks. The texture on the inside of the wings is a strange mix between crinkly tinfoil and something that one might find on an archaeological dig.
And this is one angry lookin' mutha'. His face is frozen in an open-mouthed hiss, crouched and with claws extended. He is articulated at the base of wings (one of which comes as a separate piece and must be forcibly shoved into place), the hips, the base of the tail, neck and head, and he has one swivel arm and one ball jointed arm, the shoulder of which is covered by an unusual rubber flap that is not repeated on the other side. The hip joints are most important in bending him low into an 'I'munna eatchoo!' crouch, or leaning him back into a stately, 'I may or may not eat you, we'll let the fates decide' saunter, which is the one I favor for both this figure and how I carry myself through life. With the huge span (about a foot across) and strange balance of the wings, his balance is fair. Both feet peg into a very small base, but it's effective.
Despite the articulation, he's still pretty pre-posed. which I've never really minded. When it comes to paint, we have the usual excellence. With the freehanded pattern details across the back of the wings, you can usually expect a little bit of variance between figures and a little bit of awkwardness. Also, when both wings are created on different assembly lines, there'll be a lot of little differences. Different colors, different shapes. We saw it on the Marvel Legends Angel figure, and I think we'll see it on every winged figure from here until they run out of ideas and start making Extreme Butterflies and Mantidea.... which, actually, I might be more excited about than Dragons, but I digress. Dragons are cool. It's just that the considered, powerful stride of the mantis is dear to me. They can kill hummingbirds, you know.
If there is a single weakness, it is the paint on the snout. I do not know if Komodo Clan Dragons have annual oatmeal jamborees or if they use spoons, but from the appearance of this, my conjectures would be 'yes' and 'spoons for dragons?'. It's just a bit heavy-handed on an otherwise subtle figure. The Komodo Dragon 2 is a a bit smaller than you'd expect, also. Perhaps this whole wave is slightly smaller, though I'm not positive about that. I don't mind the compact size, since the wingspan successfully enlarges the figure. It stands well alone, but in this scale, I think that a whole crazy swarm would appeal just a bit more. Great figure, but I'm all about the sea creatures. THAT comes next.
The Water Clan Dragon 2 shows a bit more genetic diversity within the Water Clan. Where the first Water Dragon was simply a dragon with lots of webs, this Dragon is actually the first in the series completely without wings or legs. He evokes something primordial and undiscovered on the sea floor, with cracked flippers and an eel-like tail that winds around the deep aqua, coral base. I don't know what it is, but something draws me to the underwater aesthetic VERY strongly. Maybe I'm a reincarnated scallop, or one of those fish without eyes but an amazing sense of rhythm. Perhaps it's also a foretelling of how I'm finally going to be compelled to end it all, in the briny deep, down a ceremonial plank after refusing to give up the secret of Cobbler's Wharf. Cutlass at my back, arms tied, and of course saved by a bevy of topless mermaids who steal me away to their undersea palace on a train of red seahorses. There, I live forever in a sea of undiscovered beauty and relentless cleavage. But, once again, I digress.
Needless to say, I love the Water Clan dragons, and I cannot WAIT for the third one, which is some kind of delicate combination of eel and lionfish and heaven. This guy is considerably darker and uglier, and that's good too. The best thing we've had before this was Stan Winston's short-lived line of monsters, which featured a She-Creature - underappreciated as far as fishy interpretations of terror are concerned. This far surpasses that figure in craftsmanship and concept, but I can't refuse a fish-woman.
We get rid of the scales, which are a very land-based trait, and instead, we get wet ridges and patterns of raised dots. The face becomes one of those misshapen, unrealistic things that actually exist at the sea floor, where light can never penetrate except by human intervention. From the forehead juts a strange, thin 'lantern' appendage, as found in anglerfish. It would probably look better in white than red, but you can tell what it's supposed to be. Here's the part where you learn about the Magical Disgustingness of Nature :
"Finding a mate in the dark depths of the ocean is a pretty tough job! So what does a male anglerfish do when he finds a mate? He never lets her go! The male lives as a parasite on the body of the much larger female, taking his food from her bloodstream. In time their bodies fuse together, forming a sort of two body hermaphrodite. Although this arrangement primarily benefits the male, it also frees both sexes from constantly seeking out new breeding partners whenever it is time to mate. At first, male deep sea anglers are free swimming, with large eyes, no rod or lure, and no digestive tube. Their skin is smooth. When a female and male meet, the male grips her skin with his teeth as usual. From this moment he begins to degenerate. His eyes grow smaller and are eventually lost. His skin becomes spiny and around his jaws it fuses with the female's skin leaving a small hole on each side of the mouth which water is drawn for breathing. His blood vessels join with those of the female and he is fed from her blood circulating through his body. Meanwhile, the male grows in size and he grows a large testes. The rest of his internal organs disappear. He is now a part of the female deep sea angler!"
I'd draw parallels between anglerlove and humanlove, but I think they're pretty obvious.
How distracted I get, huh? Along the back of the Dragon is a crest of spines, which are painted in a deep green. The paint is laid on these so thickly that they fuse together and flake at parts. Their high gloss and the drippyness of them adds to the watery feel, probably accidentally.
This Dragon is articulated at each of his 4 flippers and 4 times along the body, if you don't mind huge discontinuities between the fins and spines. As he's posed, he spirals smoothly up from the ocean floor, supported by a simple silver pole, which all but vanishes in the figure, completely unobtrusively. It makes for a gorgeous display, and I'd almost be tempted to test how it'd fare as some amazing intra-fishtank decor. Imagine your gouramis navigating the beautiful curves of this baby, who is subsequently terrorizing that goofy little diver that keep on bobbing up and down for that same haunted pirate treasure chest. Or, you could keep it next to the tank. Either way. It's a theme, you see. The theme is 'things that live in water and probably taste delicious'.
More than the other dragon, this is a fine stand-alone figure to me. Now, McFarlane, make me an OCTOPUS DRAGON. I'll name my first child after you, and also the beautiful Gates McFadden, former Muppeteer and Starship Enterprise doctor. McFarlane McFadden McFoctopus.
And I think that's a perfect place to end any article... the word 'McFoctopus'.