Even if my horribly wasted body could feel not temperature shifts, and even if my eyes were long ago blinded by staring into a Game-Genie-augmented Mega Man 2 for far too many hours on end, I'd still be able to tell that summer approacheth solely by the gentle sounds of 'click' and 'thup' made by my slowly bending gashapon collapsing onto their shelves due to the heat and their own softening plastic, wilting like so many schoolgirls at my heralded passing. Since most of the gashapon actually ARE schoolgirls (or vampire princesses, or disturbingly young space pilots in skin-tight plug suits), their naturally pencil-thin ankles don't stand up to any kind of degradation of their structural integrity very well. So, they gots the wobblylegs.

Yeah, I'm a gasha freak. Anything under 5 inches tall and coming out of Japan must instantly be admired by me, so imagine my delight when I found out that we'd soon have the first stateside-released, non-import-taxed gashapon this year, and that they'd be of my favorite Marvel characters. I've known the pleasures of assembling the tiny Japanese gashapon, and I've known the pleasures of assembling larger scale Marvel model kits, but to combine the two is pure bliss. There were two series of Marvel Characters released recently in Japan in this convenient, dynamic gasha form, but overseas items are never cheap to obtain. I learned of this Marvel Figure Factory line around this past year's Toy Fair, and I was very excited, but I had some questions. Well, one question, not counting the one about how sexy it would be to have Rachael Ray make me a sandwich wearing a Batgirl costume, which wasn't really a question anyhow. More like a 'raison d'etre'. But my question about the Figure Factory line : would these US products measure up to the consistently impressive quality of their Japanese counterparts? Everything from the miniscule sculpts to the microscopic paint jobs would have to be perfect. I've been spoiled.

So, what I have here are three Marvel Figure Factory figures, ripe for preview. In this first wave, there are eight known figures, as well as either twelve mystery figures which have not yet been revealed. While the box text implies that there are a whole 12 blind packaged mystery figures, I find it curious that a majority of this line would be left unknown. They're taking this 'blind packaged' thing to the next level, where the buyer isn't even made aware of what the possibilities are for the contents of the package. I'm more accustomed to knowing the assortment ratios and possibilities, not a crap shoot such as this. Do I want a mystery MODOK gashapon? HELL YES, but what's the possibility of him being included? Would a Silver Surfer complete my collection... nae, my LIFE? Totally. The Starjammers? A thousand times no. We don't know how obscure Marvel will be getting with these guys, but the large number of figures per wave gives me hope that we'll be getting into the stranger characters before too long. Will the mystery figures be mostly repaints? It's possible. Marvel Legends used to be 4 figures per wave with one variant extra. Now, we've hit seven figures per wave with two extra variants. We are expanding. TWENTY FIGURES!

Of the known eight Factory figures, we have Spidey, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Thing, Venom, Doc Ock and Green Goblin, making for a pretty fair split between the good guys and the bad guys, and giving a great focus on some of the more central, heavy-hitting Marvel characters. All of these guys come packaged on blister cards, sealed off in little plastic pseudo-crate with 4 trading cards per box. Each figure is made up of 15-25 tiny pieces. A lot of these seem unnecessarily dissembled, as if the Figure Factory gods were saying 'let's just break up this base in 6 pieces to give the kid more to do later', which is fine by me, because I love assembling these guys. There are also other benefits to having so many pieces - the molds for the figures will allow for more complex and clean shapes when a larger form is broken down into many smaller ones, and paint details rarely bleed over onto other sections when everything is made apart. The leftover crate? Well, now we can finally recreate any number of horrible commercials in which two spiky-haired kids battle it out over mock-warehouse terrain and shout out things like 'CRATE job, guys!' as a stack of crates comes toppling down on the Shredder or what-have-you. Or you can keep bugs in 'em. Bugs are neat.

I assembled Doctor Octopus first, which came with some semi-explanatory, but largely useless, instructions. The finer figures such as this don't require instructions anyhow, as oddly shaped peg-and-hole assemblies make it tremendously clear which part goes into which part (see Venom diagram below). Insert triangle into triangle, insert L-shape into L-hole. Gently, now. Make it feel right. That's it, baby. Given the fact that Doc Ock has 4 similar tentacles which can't really be distinguished visually, and 4 similar grasping tentacle hands, each with a very specific way that they're SUPPOSED to come together, these tiny shapes are vital. I'll be damned if you can tell one tentacle from another in the instructions. When all is said and done, there's a bit of deciphering left over as to which arms are holding the canister over his head and exactly HOW they're supposed to be doing this, (one plugs into a series of three tiny holes and one just kinda slides over, as far as I can tell). The box art is different from this final product anyhow, so don't go turning there for clues.

Yeah, some parts slip out while you're putting together others, but that's totally par for the course. You know, the gashapon course. 18 holes of wacky robots and come-hither splayed tiny women with slightly pinkened buttocks. I have no tips to offer about the assembly besides that shape thing, and the fact that you should be aware that there's always some finagling to be done. Bits of plastic need to be slightly shaved or compressed, others tightened, but the end result is that you get an extraordinarily well crafted diorama, as well as something a bit more in scale with your enormous Marvel Legends 9 Galactus. The paint details are outstanding, which is the part that I'd doubted the most. The plastic is the same high-quality stuff that I've come to love, and I don't think I could possibly be more pleased with this.

There's really no finer villain than Doctor Octopus. Not only has he taken the moniker of the finest of all sea creatures, but he gives a universal hope to fat men with bad haircuts everywhere. In this scene, we have the iconic 'shake your fist in rage' Doc Ock, who has apparently just torn up a fire hydrant for some sweltering inner city children, and he's totally going to smack down the ice cream man and acquire free rocket pops for all. For reasons that I cannot explain, he appears to be wielding the exact same canister from the Venom diorama (reviewed next), complete with squirming alien symbiote. Presumably, this was originally a hydrant, but something either changed the narrative in production or this particular set was packaged incorrectly. Go Doc Ock! You show those skinny jerks how to rock the flub!

Brought to Earth by perennial fashion victim Spider-Man, who just couldn't find a THING to wear in outer space, the Venom symbiote found Eddie Brock and was totally all over him like yo momma on a ham sandwich.

The Venom figure is far easier to pop together than the Ock figure, given the lower incidence of identical parts and Venom having larger parts in general. 75% of the set's bits tangle together into what we know as the base, all tendrils and goop which eventually plug into the main body of Venom, wrapping around his leg and exposed sneaker. It's one of the more dynamic representations of Venom we've been treated to, allowing for all kinds of strings of alien goop stretching from here to there. Lest we forget the tongue o' doom that Venom is so overburdened with, it comes as a separate part which must be delicately inserted into his dangerous jaw. A jet of black webbing spouts from the back of his hand.... can he do that? I didn't know he could do that. Or you know, would ever need to.

It's your choice as to whether or not you'd like to glue these guys together, but it seems like pressing on Venom from one direction will make some of the parts on the other side of him slip loose, a bit more than usual. A bit of wiggle is not a serious issue, though, and figuring out which goop goes where is part of the fun anyhow. As with almost all representations of Venom ever, the spider icon that's emblazoned on his front and back is a little bit sketchy, but it remains a successful, fun diorama. Take note of the airbrushed leg detail. And then, there's Thing.

The Thing seen here is on a clobberin' rampage, punching a blue streak right into the pavement as rocks shatter and disperse under the force of his blows, all making for the most exciting scene of the three, channeling a bit of the beautiful Star Wars Unleashed Luke Skywalker lightsaber-swingin' beauty. Call me old fashioned, or wrong, or the most refreshing sip of man you've ever tasted, but I LIKE ACTION LINES! Those invisible 'swooshes' and kinetic movements so rarely captured by those things static. I like them more than any amount of articulation. Does the air really turn thick and blue when you punch through it? Not really, but that'd be truly nifty. It does in the comics, and it's about time that it did it on your toys too. Thing's design is the most compact and simple, but therein lies the effectiveness as the best of the three outstanding sets.

While I enjoy the movie FF designs, I'm grateful that ToyBiz moved away from their usual 'make EVERYTHING the movie versions of these characters for 6 months before and after the release of the film' marketing stratagem, because if anything makes you sick of a character, it's getting a re-visualization of them and having it shoved down your throat ad infinitum. I'm talking to YOU, Hugh Jackman Wolverine. This is the good, old-fashioned Thing. I have high hopes that we'll see the rest of the FF before too long. They ARE on the box art, after all.

Let me give this figure line a glowing ANR endorsement. I'll undoubtedly be going back on my vow to save money when these are on the shelves. They don't take up much room, and they've completely impressed me, living up to the unrealistic standards set for me by Japan. With just as much detail as the classic Marvel Legends line, and all of the artistry of gashapon (and in scale with each other too!), the Marvel Figure Factory is doing some great things.

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