It was the only time in my life that a man came up to me and said 'Wanna get Zooked?' without me giving him a hard shiv to his one good eye. On that cold February day, however, his intentions were clarified by a large 'AIRZOOKA!' banner behind him, and a crowd of encouraging comrades. The same could not be said for such a phrase being uttered in a grimy truck stop bathroom.

Back at February's Toy Fair, I was significantly impressed by this magical Airzooka, and transfixed enough by its mysterious powers to stand there as the demonstrator hauled off and launched a powerful ball of air into my face via the elastic power of the Airzooka. He then proceeded to launch a ball of air at a high-flying banner, far above the showroom floor and quite a distance away. About 2 seconds after he fired the Airzooka, the distant banner rippled, and whatever chance I had of escaping the inexorable draw of the Airzooka vanished. I was in its thrall.

Like any red-blooded American, I have a bit of a fascination with new forms of projectiles and the items which might launch them. From invisible lazers, to spheres of water, to rings of fog, I've reviewed or been the target of them all. Last year, I spent a long summer afternoon firing arrows into action figures just to see what would happen. The results of that particular experiment were very telling. Quo est demonstratum - I was a very bored 22 year old, as well as a TERRIBLE shot, and by extension, very bad at locating stray arrows in a large lawn, which is a task best left to lawn mowers. In the world of Elves, my fantasies of being something akin to a sexy Legolas were quashed. I think I'd be more like... Clumpbert the Elf. Living off the garbage thrown from the treetop realm of Lothlorien, relegated to the forest floor until I elevated my archery skills to above the level of 'mildly retarded'.

But balls of air... there's no standard of excellence that's been established for them yet. Plus, one can't see a projectile of air gone horribly astray, and it's easy to just blame the air gun. You can suck horribly at using the Airzooka, and no one will care, because it's just that cool when you blast something. I don't use italics often, my friend, but there they are. There they are.

The Airzooka, which comes in 5 colors, comes collapsed in a large box and requires some assembly. Pull out the three plastic cylinders through some tabs, pop in some plastic screws, turn them with a coin, and you're pretty much good to go. It's not the simplest, quickest assembly, and you'll probably spend a few minutes trying to align tabs and hold things in place while other things slip frustratingly out of place, and as a result cause horrible flashbacks to That Lovemaking Debacle of 2001 which we dare not speak of aloud, but eventually, it'll fall into place. Be careful not to grasp the 'Zooka in the wrong spot - using too much force while slipping in the tabs might cause a perforation in the plastic sheet which propels the air.

The Airzooka uses a narrowing chamber, an elastic band and a sheet of sturdy plastic to create a strong vortex of air that travels a great distance before dissipating, due to its high concentration. And magic. And Bernoulli Principles. I don't know what I'm talking about, but I DO know that you can knock stuff over by simply pulling back the elasticized cord. With a loud 'FAPP!' and a crinkle of plastic, a genuinely surprising miasma of wind jets across the room. I don't think that it's the blast of air that's impressive. After all, one can get air-blasted by an oscillating fan. The impressive aspect is that the speed and force of the air blast continues on for a seemingly impossible distance. I've assembled a short documentary to demonstrate the effects of the Airzooka from various distances and on various objects, including a cat and a house of cards. Like me, I think you'll be impressed.

View the film here, or download it straight to your computer [here].

So, while not a stealth weapon, the Airzooka is a charmingly harmless, fun device with a neat, crazy-huge raygun appearance. I find it to be very sturdy, though in my policy of full disclosure I must mention that the first Airzooka broke after the third pull, the internal plunger snapping apart due to a small batch that had an ill-sized screw in place of the proper one, which Unreal Toys revealed to me after I sent them the obligatory, exaggeratory 'thank god no one was killed!' eMail. They quickly replaced the Airzooka, so have no fear. Even a catastrophic malfunction lacks the ability to harm another person, like it or not. There have been no issues whatsoever with the three other Airzookas that I know of in circulation.

It's one of those things that you must see in action to fully appreciate. I can tell you about firing the Airzooka on one end of my room and a moment later, having a paper umbrella explode from where it was resting, or you can see what the 'Zooka can do for yourself, which is all kinds of awesome fun.

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